On love; I guess

I have always been a hopeless romantic. I have always believed that one day I will find one person to fall deeply in love and spend the rest of my life with. When I was little, having barely any experience on love, I used to deeply romanticize love stories and read numerous of romance stories that I deemed as romantic. If it was not romantic to me, then I would not read it for a second. Yet as I grew older, I became to know that love is not as simple and romantic as I used to imagine. I have never been in a relationship, and have only fallen in love several times, yet I have been through numerous ups and downs in experiencing the feeling of love itself. And right now I feel like I have reached a point where I no longer believe   or care   in the magic of love. I still like watching heartwarming romance movies, and I squeal with excitement every time I watch a movie of two teenagers falling in love. But now that I've experienced the worst, I no longer look at it the same way as I used to. Whenever I read or watch some sort of love story, I no longer expect to have a similar kind; rather, I only view it as a mere form of entertainment. I guess this is partly because I have decided to take a break in engaging in any kind of romantic feelings in my life currently. After 3 years of tirelessly loving a person only to find out my feelings were one-sided after all, I decided that it is time for me to pay more attention to myself more than someone else's. I want to be able to aim for more achievements and make good use of my last 2 years in college, rather than just aiming for attention from a particular someone. And truth be told, I am actually quite comfortable of having been single all my life. I love my independence and I hate the idea of someone else becoming too attached on me. Sure, there are times when I imagine myself being in a relationship, but I don't see myself in that situation about 1-2 years from now and I am perfectly okay with that. I admit that while romantic love can be a source of happiness, it can also function otherwise. Having acknowledging this, I no longer put on too much expectations on love anymore. I'll just live my life up to its fullest point and see where it leads me :)

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