Rant

Things have been like a whirlwind these past few months.

I have fallen and gotten back up many times, I have been hurt and hurt others as well, I have also dealt with the storm that lies within me.

It has been so, so hard.

Every time I start to get back on my feet, every time I try to maintain positivity, something comes and smashes me; making me having to crawl and start again from the previous point where I was.

Sometimes it scares me, what I am capable of.

I am tremendously grateful of the support that my friends and family have given me; but there are times where I also feel bad for making them have to deal with my lowest side most of the time.

I have lost count of how many days I have gone through with barely any appetite, or even the urge to do anything at all.

It has been a struggle for me to let go, forgive, and stay positive.

I hate the fact that I constantly complain due to lack of a capable English-speaking therapist around here when there are so many things I should be grateful of, having the opportunity to study here. The thing is, I feel like constant professional support is essential for me to live my day-to-day life. The lack of it somehow prevents me to enjoy my life to the fullest.

At this point, I just want to get things done and be able to live my life peacefully, without much turbulence.

I hope I will be able to tame, better yet get rid of the demons that lies within me.

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