Zulfa's blog

As I will soon be going back to Japan, I have been contemplating about my own personal definition of home. I've always felt that my home in Depok, Indonesia is my real home, but at the same time I do realize I don't live here permanently anymore; it becomes no more than a place to spend my holidays at. Even though I'm staying in Beppu for the current time being, I haven't thought of it as home. I feel comfortable living there, but there's a slight of doubt to refer to Beppu as home. Another thing which I consider quite weird, is that although I've spent most of my years in Depok/Jakarta, at the same time I don't feel like I belong here either. You see, I'm more of a walking/public transport kind of person, and sadly Depok/Jakarta doesn't really accommodate pedestrians, and riding on public transport is sometimes rather unsafe. Efforts have been made to improve these conditions, but changes cannot happen in an instant. It might take a really long ti

A lot of things have been going on recently. But first, I don't know how many times I need to apologize for keeping on making excuses to not write haha. But from now on I really want to write more often than before. Being rejected has made me pondering a lot more about love. I might have feelings for him, but at the same time I don't know him. I don't know his fears, insecurities, hopes, and dreams. Heck, I don't even know his favorite food. I was never really close to him; the idea of us being close has only been in my head all along. I don't know his true personality; I might even hate him if I knew him inside-out. There's a high possibility that I might be absorbed in the idea of being in love with him/falling in love with my self-constructed image of him. These feelings might also develop into selfishness; whereas love is nowhere close to being selfish. There were a lot of things that I did to get his attention. But now that I know how he feels about me,