Zulfa's blog

I think I've mentioned about this several times in my previous posts, but it has been something I occasionally experience, and I feel like if I don't write down my thoughts about it I'll get frustrated eventually. Once in a while there are times when I feel lonely. I want to be able to interact normally with other people, yet at the same time I do crave for solitude. I don't know, I like being alone but I crave for social interaction as well. Even though I can be awkward, I like conversing with other people, getting to know their thoughts. But I hate putting in extra effort hanging out with someone I'm not really close with. I feel like when I talk to others I can't be like normal people, sometimes I feel really awkward and out of place. I love reading and I keep on craving for deeper knowledge, I also like to think about current issues and contemplate about life and other kinds of stuff. But most of my close friends aren't really into that kind of stuff, d

Despite my achievements, there are times when I feel like I'm heading nowhere in life. Sometimes I feel like I'm only going with the flow without any courage to innovate/start something new in life. There's just so much things I want to do, yet I feel like I've made barely any effort to get towards that. The only thing that is blocking me from doing it is a strong willingness, nothing more than that. And I guess this year I need to get myself to work harder to achieve those things. On another note, sometimes I don't understand myself as well. I feel like my socializing problems is somehow getting in the way of my path to success. There are times when I feel really inferior around others; to the point that I don't know what I should say or how should I behave. I know I should go out more and meet more people, but I just have no idea what people normally talk about. I normally pay attention to what people usually talk about, to fish some ideas for conversatio