Introversion (again)
Recently, I have been spending most of my time contemplating about introversion, and the way I normally cope with my surroundings. As a college student living far away from home, not only I learn to live independently from my parents, but I also start becoming self-dependent; which practically means not relying too much on others.
I began to realize that since college has started, I normally spend about 60-70% of my time alone, due to my introverted personality and the circumstances that does not enable me to spend a lot of time with my closest friends. My friends and I are mostly busy and have our own things to be done, so sometimes we cannot meet too often. Furthermore, I only have a small circle of friends of which I am very close with, which is also why I spend most of my time in solitude.
Don't get me wrong; I love being alone, and for me, solitude is a bliss. Moments of solitude are moments where I can think and reflect deeply on my thoughts and opinions about my life and everything that's going on in this world. Whenever I feel stressed out, I sometimes take a trip to the beach, go to the local cafe, or take a walk in the park all by myself, and it has proven to have a therapeutic effect on my mental health. I prefer to stay in my room and read a book for 3 hours straight than going to a social gathering and inevitably having to socialize with people I do not feel comfortable with.
This kind of lifestyle also teaches me to never rely or be dependent on other people too much, for they have their own lives and problems and cannot simply be bothered with mine. I love my friends dearly, and having a long talk with my closest friends makes me happy while giving a calming effect on my soul at the same time. Even so, I try not to rely myself too much on them, for I believe that depending too much on other people, mentally or physically, has proven to be destructive for the soul. I have been disappointed and frustrated countless of times for relying my feelings too much on other people and naively hoping that they will always be there for me and understand what I am going through. I've already given up on this since a long time, especially since I have been used to deal with my struggles alone ever since I can remember. As a Muslim, I have chosen a more religious approach concerning this matter.
However, I cannot deny that these actions of mine has its own personal consequences. I am not someone who can easily open up about my life with someone else, which makes it hard for me to socialize among others most of the time. For years I have been struggling to overcome this, until I finally got to know about introversion for the first time, and it made me realize that this behavior is normal, and is not something that I should overcome.Yet there are times where I still feel that my lack of social skills gets in the way of what I want to achieve later on in life. My personality is often deemed as 'too serious' among others, and I wonder whether it was caused by an excessive amount of reading.
Just like any other introvert, sometimes I do wish that I could be more social and outgoing like my extroverted peers. But hey, as long as I'm content with my life, why bother? Socializing too much exhausts me, and if I spend too much of my time socializing, I won't have enough time to finish my reading list anyway. (Yes, books make better companions than people sometimes.)
I began to realize that since college has started, I normally spend about 60-70% of my time alone, due to my introverted personality and the circumstances that does not enable me to spend a lot of time with my closest friends. My friends and I are mostly busy and have our own things to be done, so sometimes we cannot meet too often. Furthermore, I only have a small circle of friends of which I am very close with, which is also why I spend most of my time in solitude.
Don't get me wrong; I love being alone, and for me, solitude is a bliss. Moments of solitude are moments where I can think and reflect deeply on my thoughts and opinions about my life and everything that's going on in this world. Whenever I feel stressed out, I sometimes take a trip to the beach, go to the local cafe, or take a walk in the park all by myself, and it has proven to have a therapeutic effect on my mental health. I prefer to stay in my room and read a book for 3 hours straight than going to a social gathering and inevitably having to socialize with people I do not feel comfortable with.
This kind of lifestyle also teaches me to never rely or be dependent on other people too much, for they have their own lives and problems and cannot simply be bothered with mine. I love my friends dearly, and having a long talk with my closest friends makes me happy while giving a calming effect on my soul at the same time. Even so, I try not to rely myself too much on them, for I believe that depending too much on other people, mentally or physically, has proven to be destructive for the soul. I have been disappointed and frustrated countless of times for relying my feelings too much on other people and naively hoping that they will always be there for me and understand what I am going through. I've already given up on this since a long time, especially since I have been used to deal with my struggles alone ever since I can remember. As a Muslim, I have chosen a more religious approach concerning this matter.
However, I cannot deny that these actions of mine has its own personal consequences. I am not someone who can easily open up about my life with someone else, which makes it hard for me to socialize among others most of the time. For years I have been struggling to overcome this, until I finally got to know about introversion for the first time, and it made me realize that this behavior is normal, and is not something that I should overcome.Yet there are times where I still feel that my lack of social skills gets in the way of what I want to achieve later on in life. My personality is often deemed as 'too serious' among others, and I wonder whether it was caused by an excessive amount of reading.
Just like any other introvert, sometimes I do wish that I could be more social and outgoing like my extroverted peers. But hey, as long as I'm content with my life, why bother? Socializing too much exhausts me, and if I spend too much of my time socializing, I won't have enough time to finish my reading list anyway. (Yes, books make better companions than people sometimes.)
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