Zulfa's blog

I think I've mentioned about this several times in my previous posts, but it has been something I occasionally experience, and I feel like if I don't write down my thoughts about it I'll get frustrated eventually. Once in a while there are times when I feel lonely. I want to be able to interact normally with other people, yet at the same time I do crave for solitude. I don't know, I like being alone but I crave for social interaction as well. Even though I can be awkward, I like conversing with other people, getting to know their thoughts. But I hate putting in extra effort hanging out with someone I'm not really close with. I feel like when I talk to others I can't be like normal people, sometimes I feel really awkward and out of place. I love reading and I keep on craving for deeper knowledge, I also like to think about current issues and contemplate about life and other kinds of stuff. But most of my close friends aren't really into that kind of stuff, d...

Despite my achievements, there are times when I feel like I'm heading nowhere in life. Sometimes I feel like I'm only going with the flow without any courage to innovate/start something new in life. There's just so much things I want to do, yet I feel like I've made barely any effort to get towards that. The only thing that is blocking me from doing it is a strong willingness, nothing more than that. And I guess this year I need to get myself to work harder to achieve those things. On another note, sometimes I don't understand myself as well. I feel like my socializing problems is somehow getting in the way of my path to success. There are times when I feel really inferior around others; to the point that I don't know what I should say or how should I behave. I know I should go out more and meet more people, but I just have no idea what people normally talk about. I normally pay attention to what people usually talk about, to fish some ideas for conversatio...